Joy (cithra) wrote,

rrrumbl... wha?

I am neither a mover nor a shaker. Most days this isn't a problem, but every so often it bothers me. There is a part of me that really would like to be more in 'the center' of things - my initial take is that's the part of me that desperately wants to feel like it has some control over its surroundings, more than simply a naked lust for power - but current evidence seems to indicate that I'm human after all, so the latter is certainly plausible.

Getting over it usually involves considering the 'why' at the core of my desire. I want people to notice me, like me, love/respect/admire me - but having my digits on the donuts is no guarantee any of that will occur. There are some esteem issues involved; personal as well as the notion of there being a basic positive value to human life (a question that is very difficult to resolve purely empirically, by the way). Is there enough intrinsic value in "being-ness" that it is enough just to live, or are there further criteria by which the value of ones existence must or should be judged. (Yes, Virginia, there is a Sophist after all.)

Considering I gave philosophy a miss in school (in a vigorous effort to retrieve my eyebrow, which was busily trying to crawl its way past my hairline) I probably don't have much right to speculate along these lines.

Just call me 100% ambition-free, except for alternate Tuesdays and Thursdays.

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