There is a fine line between apathy and not-worrying that I don't always navigate well. One of the lines in a mediation tape I use says something on the order of "let go of the tendency we all have to wish things would be different, and allow things to be exactly as you find them." Which is good advice in terms of not worrying needlessly, but can also influence me to simply give up on things I find frustrating. There are many things in my life I wish were different but it is sometimes hard to tell which of them I have much influence over. That's the tricky part of chronic depression, it can make everything seem like something that needs to simply be accepted and dealt with rather than worked to make better/different/changed.
In other news I'm disinclined to NaNoWriMo this year, which probably means I should do it anyway - see above. I already know I can put that many words down on paper in a month; struggling with making them cohesive and novel-shaped is ongoing.
On the other other hand, look at me all checking in before months and months have passed again!