Joy (cithra) wrote,


I am in one of those weird molasses-y modes where I don't particularly feel depressed but I suspect that I may be suffering from my depression due to how I find myself acting. I've been low energy and my sleep is all over the map.

I miss Glitch, which reminds me that there is some legitimate reason for being sad. I also suspect there is some less-than-conscious processing going on about holidays without my mother. A lot of that is blunted since her decline in health meant I didn't see her terribly often the last couple of holiday seasons. But this season was her holiday, much more than mine, especially in terms of belief, so I find myself in a strange combination of mental flailing-at-missed-steps and relief.

On a lighter note, it's nice to have the wherewithal to give some gifts this year, in celebration of whatever. I have ordered a few things and waiting for them to arrive, by post or delivery service, is kind of fun.

Now it's time to go catch a bus. Wow my time-sense is off, where did the morning go?
Tags: mental health, thoughts

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