Joy (cithra) wrote,

instant gratification takes too long

If I were one of those people who theorizes that everyone is put on earth to learn a Lesson, I would have to guess that mine was about patience. As in, I have none. None! Not any more, at least - I've joked in the past that I used it all up on an ex, but that was many years ago now, and it still hasn't come back.

It's worst with information. I want to know, and I want to know now, damn it. I don't much care for job interviews, but for me the worst part comes afterwards, during the waiting waiting waiting part while they make their decision.

This is NOT standing me in good stead at the moment. I am waiting to hear about a number of things, and I'm not having much luck containing my soul and patience. Pestering people doesn't help - I know pestering people doesn't help, I've been thwacked literally and verbally a number of times for pestering people, but! I still do it, to my shame and chagrin.

There is a thing to which I must give a month - at the least a month, I may well have prodded things into taking a good deal longer than a month (it's worse than opening the oven door on a cake) - and I was thinking 'ah, time passes, this is good' and then I look at the calendar and it has been a week only. A week! There is another thing, about which I will not find out until September, and another that will probably take until December, and it doesn't help that several of the things I am waiting on were things I thought up to distract me from OTHER things I was waiting on.

Distraction is about the only thing that helps, just about. At least I finally got my outside employment approval form back, so I can start collecting rejection slips again. Obsessively cataloging the circulation of my writing and the C class should at minimum keep me busy, if not actually distracted...

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