The catalog of details just sounds like me getting old. I'm not that old, but I consider myself old in the sense that I don't ever anticipate being pain-free, physically, in the future. Also, most of my 'service providers' in the daily sense are (or seem) younger than me, as I encounter them: clerks, cashiers, police, local politicians, etc. I'm on the older side of the bus-riding population as I experience it. I get tired (spiritually, physically, mentally) and impatient easily and often, but it seems normal to myself and those around me.
I keep watching other people achieve what I thought were my dreams and realizing I wouldn't have been happy with the results after all. Interesting; handy in a way. The problem that remains, however, is a failure on my part to come up with additional dreams of my own to continue to try. I've put on and taken off a lot of hats over the years, with none really fitting terribly well. I feel like I've exhausted the majority of items in the milliners I'm interested in taking on, but I'd still like a hat of my own. Meanwhile my resources are diminished and diminishing; the price of hats is rising.
Well, I suppose I'll take some small comfort that even if I die dream-less, I'll still be just as dead. Worry-free at last, either way.
