Joy (cithra) wrote,

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I really miss Diane, the nurse practitioner I saw as my 'primary care provider' when I first moved to Seattle. She was one of the few health care professionals I've dealt with who seemed to be paying attention. She convinced me she cared enough about me and my health to consider and get the gastric bypass surgery, which while it has been a rough road I still don't regret undertaking it. She didn't make everything about my weight, though - unlike other medical folk, whose attitude can be summed up by "you wouldn't get those hangnails if you'd lose some weight, you know".

Diane retired, and while I like my new doctor well enough, it's still frustrating to have her approach me naively about my weight - as though she's the first to broach the subject (ha, and as if) and as though we haven't talked about it every time I've seen her. It makes me wonder if she's even looked at my file. Even if she avoided looking at the fact that I'm (still, even with some weight gain) down 100lbs from where I spent the majority of my life, I would think the 12" surgery scar might be a clue or a memory jog. It makes it hard to trust that she's paying attention to my case.

It makes me reluctant to visit, as well, even when it's something like just talking about medication. My antidepressant scrip from the clinical trials has run out, so now I need to get my 'regular doctor' to handle the refills. So I'm going in to see her on Friday. I really hope I don't have to argue about it, but even thinking of going in and having to explain everything at least twice more is exhausting. Oh, and yeah - I'll have to scrounge up the co-pay from somewhere too.
Tags: meds, mental health, thoughts

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