Joy (cithra) wrote,
Joy
cithra

  • Music:

the communication conundrum

As a person with some varieties of mental illness, I find myself with a paradoxical reaction to things like Twitter (which I wrote about earlier) and Google Buzz, and the social networking media in general. It goes like this, a little bit: Hooray, I'm connected to all these people! followed swiftly by Run Away! I'm connected to all these people... So it's a commingled delight that people would be interested in knowing what I was up to enough to connect with and follow me, coupled with an immediate fear of being vulnerable enough to actually let people know what I'm thinking and feeling.

I think the hardest thing about being fairly intelligent and coping with mental illness for me is when I catch myself being, well, illogically diseased as per the above, or with the phone. I enjoy writing, I like sharing my thoughts - look, a new way to do that; I must immediately keep my mouth shut and hide my presence online! How utterly counterproductive is that? and I doubt it comes across as very friendly either. Sigh.

I'm trying to figure it out.
Tags: angst, community, mental health
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