It seems to come down to my feeling that he's part of my community (SF, writing, books - I may be wrong about the first one but not the second two) and so garners a certain amount of automatic trust. She (my sponsor) doesn't have any overlap with that set of communities, so it's really hard to explain that trust to her.
She also seems to be a wee bit sexist, she'd rather I get rides (to & from meetings, say) and so forth from women. But she also thinks the women's only meetings are weird. *shakes head* Early recovery or no, I'm not going to stop interacting casually/normally with other humans simply because of what they happened to draw from the genetic lottery. [I'm not going to go into it any further than that or I'll be here for a Very Long Time trying to delineate and explain my somewhat amorphous philosophy of appropriate human interaction. Some other time, when I've got a free decade or so.]
It clearly disturbs me enough to make me write about it, trying to sort out my thoughts. Is she paranoid; am I naive? Or do we just not have enough similar community overlap for me to effectively explain myself. I'm banking on the latter.