Q: what's wrong with your face?
fantasy conversation A: leprosy. A particularly virulent strain that only affects people who ask annoying questions. I caught it by asking this person 'what's wrong with your face?'
real conversation A: it's a stress reaction/rash/thing. No, it's not contagious. Yes, it's cyclical. Yes, it goes away. Yes, it hurts/itches/bugs the living f**k out of me. No, your inquiry isn't exactly doing much to lower my stress levels, thank you.
If it's 3 a.m. it must be Friday....