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I am old... - Terrafactive Armageddon

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August 9th, 2005


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04:50 pm - I am old...
How do I know I am old? I've started having to go have old-people medical procedures. Bah.


They say colonoscopy and to a human bio geek like myself, it's easy to translate into "ooh, they want to put a camera into my large intestine! that sounds interesting and cool." They fail to remind you, with this simple name for the procedure, of the fact that they are going to want the place tidied up a bit before the photographers arrive.

This involves a great deal of clear liquids and how shall we say... flushing of the system. Flushing of several systems, to get all South Park on you poor folks willing to brave my cut tag, if any of ye there be. We have had a spot of plumbing trouble now and again, I hope the household pipes are up to this.

First the mammogram, now the colonoscopy. Where the hell are my white flannel trousers? And my beach? Eh?

At least I can skip the prostate exam. Small recompense for a lifetime of menses, though.

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:deadrose
Date:August 10th, 2005 05:48 am (UTC)
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Is it amusing or sad that I saw your teaser and knew it was a colonoscopy immediately?

I feel for you. I'm glad I didn't have to do a full-out bowel prep last year before the hysterectomy. And as to the old thing, I've come to realize over the past week or two that my remaining ovary is failing fast, which means disturbing amounts of facial hair and other bonuses courtesy of my German ancestry.
[User Picture]
From:rechercher
Date:August 10th, 2005 11:37 am (UTC)
(Link)
Actually, I might be having one myself. As mentioned the uh, oh never mind, problem I have has been persistent enough that it was recommend I have myself checked to see if I have IBS or something worse. 99% chance it's a blasted waste of time, but there you go.

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