I was going down to the 4th floor on break to get a soda, but when I got in the elevator and the doors closed, nothing happened. 4 lit up, but the car didn't move. I tried the open and close door buttons, I tried pressing the button for a different floor than 4, I tried pressing the button for 16, the floor I was on... So I finally opened the little door and used the Emergency Phone.
Note: the whole thing would have been more exciting if the phone hadn't been beige. What kind of an Emergency Phone is beige? Not to mention that calling it a phone is overdoing it - no buttons or dial were present. Which made the annoying recorded voice saying Jackson Federal Building Emergency Telephone, cab 6. Press star or pound on your handset to stop this message over and over again even MORE annoying. A good thing I'm calm during emergencies - it's not nice to taunt people in distress.
Anyway, first I got a dispatcher somewhere far away, who asked me what city I was in. Then the recording started, merrily talking right over the dispatcher's voice. I could at least tell he wanted me to stay on the line, so I did. When the local dispatcher came on, she was able to shut the recording off, thankfully. She asked me what floor I was at, said she was calling it in to maintenance, and sending a FPS officer to where I was in the interim. She offered to stay on the phone with me until someone showed up, but I said I was fine and we rang off.
I was fine, actually. It was just me, all alone, which probably helped. I sat down on the floor to wait, wishing I'd brought something with me, but I'd only taken the soda money and my badge. So I amused myself trying to think what the best course of action would be should the cab start falling... I hadn't really come up with anything useful when the FPS guy banged on the door. He suggested trying to pull the doors apart, but I wasn't strong enough to get my side to budge. He had more success, though, and was able to get both sets open, and I was free. The elevator cab closed its doors and went on its merry way, and the FPS officer called in to say I had been released.
He summoned another car, and everything else proceeded without incident. Except for an extra added dose of surreality when the gentleman who was already in the new elevator when it arrived tried muttering something to me about "maybe it's a message to our government, hmm?" I'm really not sure what his pronoun was referring to - his coffee? some other conversation in the elevator between folks who got on after us that I was ignoring? the presence of the FPS officer accompanying me? There was no way he could have known about the elevator episode. Alas, his vocce was a little too sotto for me to determine before we arrived at my floor, and I fled.
Usually I have pretty good luck with elevators. I suppose I could say I had pretty good luck with this one too, considering many aspects of the situation could have been far more unpleasant or of longer duration...