Joy (cithra) wrote,

lets try this again...

Since it says at the end of the newsletter that "reproduction of this publication in electronic media is encouraged," I have to share yesterday's edition of the EFF newsletter.

EFFector Vol. 17a, No. 1 April 1, 2004

A Publication of the Electronic Frontier Foundation ISSN 1062-9424
In the 283rd and 1/2 Issue of EFFector:

* EFF Announces Key Escrow Plan
* SCO to Sue Over Unauthorized Use of Earth's Resources
* Studio Seeks to Enjoin Children from Blinking, Singing During
TV Show
* Microsoft Wins Patent for Software Industry Monopolization
* Let the Sun Set on PATRIOT - Section 69
* FBI's "Totally Voluntary" Brain Implant Adds New Dimension
to Trusted Traveler Program
* EFF to Offer Tin Foil Hats as Membership Premium
* MiniLinks (9): Why Consumers Love DRM
* Staff Calendar: 04.01.04 - Entire staff going nowhere, doing
* Administrivia

For more information on EFF activities & alerts:

To join EFF or make an additional donation:

EFF is a member-supported nonprofit. Please sign up as a member today!

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* EFF Announces Key Escrow Plan

Encryption Keys To Be Safeguarded in Executive Director's Desk

San Francisco, CA - In response to renewed law enforcement
demands for expanded access to Americans' communications, EFF
today unveiled its own "key escrow" proposal. Under this scheme,
parties who wish to communicate securely (as well as technology
innovators and online service providers who wish to offer
secure communications) can receive encryption keys directly
from EFF.

EFF will generate the keys securely using a special set of secure
dice rolled by teams of interns.

EFF will also retain a copy of the keys provided in order to
facilitate potential lawfully authorized surveillance by law
enforcement agencies. The organization has pledged to lock up the
keys in a secure facility, namely the bottom desk drawer in the
office of EFF Executive Director Shari Steele.

"Our Executive Director is very trustworthy," noted EFF Staff
Technologist Seth Schoen. "Also, her desk is made out of some
kind of hardwood. It is very polished and ready for use."

A law enforcement agent who obtains a valid warrant will be able
to contact Steele directly to receive prompt access to relevant
keys. "Nobody else offers a key escrow solution this secure and
effective," said Schoen.

"Mmm...Strong crypto," said Bruce "Roy" Schneier, a guy who knows
a lot about this stuff.

For the full media release:

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* SCO to Sue Over Unauthorized Use of Earth's Resources

Lindon, UT - On the heels of its campaign against users of the
Free Software program Linux, the SCO Group today announced that
it will begin a new round of lawsuits against users of other
free resources, including fire, water, air and land.

"People think they can just use free things without paying for
them," said SCO CEO Daryl McBribe. "This kind of 'socialism' is
anti-American and a violation of the Constitution. It's up to
corporations like SCO to crush that kind of idealism."

Added Daryl's other brother Daryl, "Yeah, what he said."

SCO plans to offer a generous and reasonable licensing program
for Earth's remaining natural resources with prices as low as $700
per carbon-based life form.

"We think once people realize how much money it takes to fund I mean, innovation, they will happily sign
up," said McBribe.

NYT article on SCO lawsuits:

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* Studio Sues to Enjoin Children from Blinking, Singing During TV

Hollywood, CA - Twentieth Century Ferret Pictures announced today
that it will begin suing children 2-6 years old for creating
unauthorized derivative works of its popular "Bernard the Talking
Dinosaur" television show. Children, the studio claims, often
blink, babble or sing while watching the show.

"This is a clear violation of our exclusive rights over the
show's performance," said Wade Aminute, spokesman for Ferret.
"Closing your eyes during the broadcast, even for a moment,
materially modifies the sequence of images that will be seared into
one's brain for eternity. Not to mention that it interferes
with our subliminal product placements. We cannot allow such
intrusions upon the sanctity of our creative works."

Ferret says it expects most children will settle the suits for
between three lollipops and their rock collection.

Wired article on the lawsuits:

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* Microsoft Wins Patent for Software Industry Monopolization

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation today announced that the United
States Patent and Trademark Office (PTO) has officially awarded the
company Patent No. 7,543,332, entitled "Method of Monopolizing a
Software Industry." The patent, filed in 1995, covers the
development of operating systems and desktop applications that
render users helplessly dependent upon flawed yet ubiquitous
software platforms.

"Microsoft has been a leader and an innovator in this field for
years," said Ari Ukidingme, a spokesman for the software giant.
"We figured - Hey, why not use it to get a legal monopoly?"

Microsoft says it has no plans to sue on the patent at present
but has entered into licensing negotiations with SCO over its
Linux-related activities.

Washington Post article on the patent:

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* Let the Sun Set on PATRIOT - Section 69

Welcome to part nine of "Let the Sun Set on PATRIOT," an EFFector
series on the battle to let some of the most troubling provisions
in the USA PATRIOT Act expire, or "sunset." Each week, we profile
one of the 13 provisions set to expire in December of 2005 and
explain in plain language what's wrong with the provision and
why Congress should allow it to sunset. This week we look at
Section 69, which requires all airline passengers to travel
in the nude.

~ How PATRIOT Section 69 Changed the Law

Before PATRIOT, you could make plans to travel without feeling
the need to get in shape first, and without scheduling a visit
to the local tanning salon. That Bugs Bunny tatoo was
strictly between you and Selma. And that's kinda what made it
so special, wasn't it?

After PATRIOT: Goodbye, ego. Dang, things really *have* headed
south a bit since college, haven't they?

~ Why Section 69 Should Sunset

Section 69 makes it a crime to "board a flight fully clothed,"
because otherwise you can "hide a lot of terrorist activity
under there." But, as we note above, our egos are already fragile
and just-this-side-of-bruised. Worse, we're now sorely tempted to
go on the Atkins diet, but our cousin Peggy told us that that
doctor guy died of a heart attack. We're not thinking that sounds
very "healthy."

~ Conclusion

EFF supports the repeal of Section 69, which would strip us of our
most fundamental clothes. We also support the Look But Don't Touch
Act (S 1984/HR 2001) and encourage you to visit EFF's Action
Center today to let your representatives to know you support the

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* FBI's "Totally Voluntary" Brain Implant Adds New Dimension to
Trusted Traveler Program

Washington, DC - The FBI announced today that the new brain
implant technology will be "totally voluntary," but that with so
many benefits, "Why would anybody say no?"

"It's a brave new world we live in, and with the new implant
technology, your location and safety can be assured 24/7. RFID
readers will make showing ID at airports - or Nevada roadside stops -
a thing of the past," said FBI spokesperson Who Dunnit. "And
with the bonus addition of the new PC Thought(TM) module,
all evil thought can be banned before you even think it."

The chip will initially be offered free to prisoners who opt to
leave physical incarceration and business-class airline

NYT piece on the implant:

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* EFF to Offer Tin Foil Hats as Membership Premium

Tired of that voluntary implant telling every traffic light who
you are? No money to go to Brazil and have it removed? Join
EFF at the sustainer level, choose the EFF-insignia embossed
"tin foil hat" as your premium, and there will be no more red
lights for you, pal.

Join EFF today!:

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* miniLinks
miniLinks features noteworthy news items from around the Internet.

~ Why Consumers Love DRM
The Hollywood Reporter on how DRM is helping consumers manage their
ungainly collections of rights:

~ Linus Torvalds Buys SCO Site License for Home
The father of the Linux operating system claims that SCO's request
was too compelling, well-reasoned and legally clear to ignore:

~ Sen. Hatch Endorses Remotely Destroying Computers to Stop P2P
But only after a warning. How reasonable!

~ Auto Industry Follows Lead of Downloading Services
Citing the digital music industry's innovative business model, auto
makers will soon create cars that work only on authorized roads and
cannot be resold:

~ RIAA, DirecTV & SCO Merge, Sue Everyone Else
FTC regulators initially balked at the merger, but lawyers for the
new conglomerate just stared, drooled and cracked their knuckles:

~ USPTO to Start Granting Indulgences
The agency claims that its long history of distributing pieces of
paper gives it the moral authority and technical expertise to
absolve sins:

~ Recording Industry Sues 12 Year-Old Girl
RIAA takes the moral high ground by storm:,2933,96797,00.html

~ God Files Preemptive Patent Suit Against Life on Mars
The deity stated that legal action and/or smiting may result
if the Red Planet is found to have violate Patent #1:

~ Diebold E-Voting Machine Sounds Klaxon, Spews Quarters
into Plastic Cup
Investigators found that the unit was actually a video poker
machine that had been mislabeled. No word yet on how it
passed certification:

: . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* Staff Calendar
For a complete listing of EFF speaking engagements (with
locations and times), please visit:

~ April 1 -
We already told you we weren't going anywhere or doing anything.
Jeesh. It's called "reading." You might want to try it out

. : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : . : .

* Administrivia

EFFector is published by:

The Electronic Frontier Foundation
454 Shotwell Street
San Francisco CA 94110-1914 USA
+1 415 436 9333 (voice)
+1 415 436 9993 (fax)

Donna Wentworth, Web Writer/Activist

To Join EFF online, or make an additional donation, go to:

Membership & donation queries:

General EFF, legal, policy or online resources queries:

Reproduction of this publication in electronic media is
encouraged. Signed articles do not necessarily represent the
views of EFF. To reproduce signed articles individually, please
contact the authors for their express permission. Press releases
and EFF announcements & articles may be reproduced individually
at will.

To change your address or other information, please visit:

If you have already subscribed to the EFF Action Center, please

To unsubscribe from the EFFector mailing list, send an email to with the word "Remove" in the subject.

(Please ask to manually remove you from the list if
this does not work for some reason.)

Back issues are available at:

You can also get the latest issue of EFFector via the Web at:


  • blowing off dust

    More than once I have bought a "lifetime" membership in something, only to find the term weaseled into that-was-then-this-is-now. So this is a test…

  • the old dog learns a new trick

    My brother got an Xbox One as a premium for 15yrs at his job, and so I am slowly learning the arcane ways of the controller as an input device. I'm…

  • Not Interested

    Seriously, how rude and self-involved do you have to be to be so utterly convinced that you are right and I am wrong about something as to come and…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded