Joy (cithra) wrote,

new day, new way

So the commute really isn't bad, although getting here even fifteen minuted early makes the morning drag on even more slowly than usual. It was really strange walking up to the door on 1st avenue - all of a sudden I was back in the mental headspace of 1994, when I started working here. I'm sure it was because that commute was also from West Seattle, into the sunrise, get off at Union, walk down the four blocks to the Federal building.

The oddness was mainly how un-confident and insecure I suddenly felt, or was reminded of feeling. In a way I'm reassured - perhaps all the cognitive behavioral work I've done hasn't been completely for naught. I don't generally feel that much insecurity and fear on a moment-to-moment basis anymore, and that is an improvement.

On the other hand, if I'm getting good results from the CBT but I'm also still having pretty severe bouts of depression on a pretty regular basis that argues for a still un-treated component. But I'll take this tiny evidence of some progress and celebrate it nonetheless. (More on this elsewhere, probably.)

Getting back to the commute, one of the more delightful aspects is the discovery of a really snazzy coffee shop on the way. It's called Ancient Grounds, and amnotsurly had mentioned it to me in the past, but it has never been open before, the time or two I've stopped by. Not so today! I went in and ordered a latte which was fabulous - I was the only person in the shop (at 7:35 or so) which while good for my comfort zone doesn't bode well for their revenue stream.

On the other other hand, revenue stream may not be the biggest deal involved. The shop is absolutely gorgeous, with all kinds of - well, artifacts, I guess. Asian brocaded cloth, some lanterns, two water fountains, lots of wood and bamboo. There is a fully articulated antelope skeleton up above the door. It looked like some to the things might be for sale (there were some kimono-like robes on a rack in one corner) but some were clearly just there for display, because they were beautiful. I think I've found my new morning coffee spot. Very pleasant, thoughtfully reserved gentleman behind the counter (the introvert says "Yay!" at not having to pretend to be perky in the morning). He was probably a few years older than me, but not too many. If it is his shop, I could see it being a second career kind of place, a labor of love kind of place.

Or I could be talking through my caffeine-deprived hat. But I envision I'll be going back, so I'll be able to collect more data.

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