Joy (cithra) wrote,
Joy
cithra

dreams of an almost human nature - this will not do

`
I am subject to a peculiar type of anxiety dream where I am in pain or distress, yet unable to communicate that fact successfully to any of the people around me. Usually this happens when physically (i.e. in the real world) I have contorted myself such that some or all of my limbs have painfully fallen asleep. I usually wake myself up from these due to the fact that I'm shouting 'help' over and over again, in both worlds.

This morning's edition was unusually vivid, as well as being even more absurd than usual - my mother was getting married to Fred, my old Fresno boss. I was the maid of honor, and was struggling to organize the dual nature ceremony - they were going to have a secular exchange of rings in public as well as the regular Mormon private temple ceremony. I had the rings in a little box that kept falling apart, as well as getting misplaced, or taken by small children to play with, etc.

My understanding had been that they would do the ring exchange first, then adjourn to the temple for the "real" ceremony, but there was some kind of communications snafu, and although we started the procession as though that would be the order of events, after I came in and everyone stood up for the bridal entrance, we waited, and waited, and waited... meanwhile, the dress I was wearing didn't fit quite right (or something) and precipitated an almost seizure-like episode where it was very difficult for me to move or speak at all. No one seemed to notice - in spite of my efforts to explain. Gradually as the hours passed, people drifted away - I tried to find out how long they were going to be at the temple, but anyone who had that information was with the party at the temple, not with us reprobates who weren't worthy. There was a Halloween party going on in the other part of the building where we were that most of the people sort of wandered off to attend. For some reason, I didn't get along with any of the other people in the bridal party, so none of them would talk to me, even the ones still where I was. Afternoon stretched into evening, and I finally started to drag myself around the building (literally, sort of fishtail crawling across the floor, painfully slowly) looking for my mother. I was briefly able to get one of the Halloween party organizers to drag me about by my skirt, but then they got called off to do something else, leaving me in a room full of costumed people and refreshments. At this point I'd only eaten a cracker or so, but I couldn't make my limbs move enough to get to any of the food on the tables. This was the point where I was so exhausted and stressed that I started shouting 'help' over and over at people, to no avail.

Finally even the Halloween people were packing up and shutting down to leave. Oh, this was taking place in London, as well, so there had been a whole episode of trouble getting to the place by taxi, and I didn't have the information on how to get to where I was staying, either - so even if I could have moved enough to leave, I wouldn't have known where to go. I barely succeeded in attracting the notice of some of the janitorial staff, and just before I woke up one of them had carried me out to the limo that had been waiting all this time to carry my mother and Fred off - and there was still no sign of them. As I awoke, it was becoming evident that the limo was a fake - it wasn't even a real car - and I was negotiating with the "driver" for him to take me somewhere, or trying to.

Uh, yeah. All I can think is 'why London? why Fred?' and shake my head....
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