August 6th, 2010

pencil

low energy

This has been a low energy week. Lots of sleeping, lots of meditation, lots of reading and listening to books. Made it to workouts and for walks every day at least, but it was an effort.

I'm sure the mild-to-medium depression about money matters is part of it. Inside industry information from a friend who works at a staffing company confirms there is a general reluctance to hire people out of unemployment vs. in/across the 'workforce' - one more reason to hate the cultural legacy we are saddled with, that insists in spite of hard economic and social evidence to the contrary that anyone unemployed is a loser slacker who deserves their penniless lot.

And don't get me started on the people who tell me "it must be nice" to be out of work due to disability. Oh, totally, except for the health problems that I really can't afford treatment for now that landed me here, in spite of insurance - yeah, it's just parties and woo-hoo all the way. Most of them have the grace to be chagrined when I point that out. Most of them.

Edited to add: yeah, I'm not so much a nice person as a quiet one, usually. And the people who would shy away from hiring me after googling or finding out I have mental health issues are already well furnished with reasons not to work with me, like my being female, or introverted, or fat. (How I know? They've told me so, when I've asked.)

I am sorry I've nothing to share but crabbiness at the moment.