All households, even the most mobile, collect weird shit as time goes by. It's worse if you have a basement in which to store it, it seems. Whilst doing laundry today (yes, finally!) and wrestling with the washer's desire not to complete the spin-and-rinse cycle, I cast my eyes about me and took an impromptu census of the local accretions. To wit, Dwight-the-landlord apparently has a fondness for:
- mattresses (5)
- bicycles (7)
- paint cans (4)
- microwaves (2)
- ladders (2)
- bedframes (2.5)
- stray loads of laundry (4)
- boxes of laundry detergent (4)
- miscellaneous household detritus
Now, as I say, I'm used to basements being full of crap being the rule. And I can see someone who rents out half their house as an apartment collecting microwaves and coffee tables and ladders and cans of paint over the years as people move out and leave things behind, or various household improvements are undertaken. But why keep a moldering stack of ratty old mattresses? and even stranger, why accumulate SEVEN bicycles? I've never seen him go bike riding - to be honest, he moves so painfully I have trouble imagining him cycling at all. It makes my brain hurt... I don't understand, and I can't come up with a guess other than to posit there must be some reason. The bicycles are undeniably there
, and their number has increased slowly over my tenure... Perhaps he's friends with a cycling team that needs storage. Perhaps it's for an art project. I'm not sure why they niggle at me so, these bicycles - but every time I do laundry I find myself wondering about them.
Clearly, I need a life. At least I'm getting the laundry done...