Joy (cithra) wrote,
Joy
cithra

the sum of some fears: early afternoon edition


  • the nausea as I walk over a sidewalk grating

  • the flutter as I scroll down my profile to see if anyone has taken me off their friends list

  • the rising stress in my voice as I call my cat if she doesn't meet me at the door when I come home

  • the sinking feeling as I greet someone and they don't see/hear/respond

  • the startle-jump as the phone rings

  • the panic of failed memory under questioning

  • the dread of receiving email

  • the dread of not receiving email

  • the stomach-drop pitch of tripping and falling

  • the horrific certainty of having done something pathologically stupid, again

  • the crawling awareness of bits of the body dying, rotting, decaying

  • the embarassment of creeping stains

  • the knowledge that something is not quite right

  • the despair that nothing changes

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