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::schwa:: - Terrafactive Armageddon

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August 3rd, 2010


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03:05 pm - ::schwa::
I'm feeling detached and mildly disgruntled today. Some of that is pain and stiffness; my lower back isn't fond of something in our workout routine and I haven't isolated it yet so as to stop or modify doing it. Nothing hurts at the time; but the next day I can't stand up straight because there is a kink in my back. Walking and stretching help a little, but not entirely.

I expect taking a walk (speaking of) would improve my mood as well, but am having trouble motivating in spite of several errands I could entice myself out of the house with normally. I have library books to pick up, and in the other direction a trip to Fred Meyers to take care of an errand there. I have a book at B&N I could pick up... but I'm not sure if this month's budget will support it.

That, in all honesty, is probably one of the roots of my disconnectedness. Having paid rent and bills, my money is pretty much evaporated for the month again, which disinclines me to go out as well as contributing to a sense of powerlessness. I still have cat food to purchase as well as a few other outstanding matters of semi-discretionary payment (book at B&N, new workout shoes, possible entry fee for a 5K, still trying to save up the registration fee for the Rainforest Writers Village retreat, etcconstantetc.). My student loan forbearance coming thru earlier today helps, but that debt is still hanging there, just put off, so it's not the relief it could be - or honestly, even that I had hoped.

You know, I've never so much wanted to be rich as just not to have to worry about every single penny. One more area in life to readjust my sights downward, I suppose.
Current Mood: only a little bitter

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