November 27th, 2013
|06:36 pm - crowned glory|
Funny how my mind works. Once upon a time I must have asked my mother about her gold fillings and crowns (doubtless when quite young because shiny pretty shiny) and she must have told me they were something just for adults. Because all afternoon I've had this odd recurring thought in my head: I'm really an adult now because now I have a gold tooth.
With luck when I'm done I can pay my way across the Styx.
November 5th, 2013
|03:23 pm - flapable|
I've made a bit of a career in "real life" out of being fairly unflappable. Certainly in the old days, when I was working, I was usually the one at work who could be counted on. Also, there isn't much in the way of human behavior that surprises me, because I am both a sufferer of depression and a bit of a cynic. (And if you scratch me you will indeed find a frustrated romantic, for what that's worth.)
Conversely to that, and especially as I get older, I find that art and artistic endeavors affect me disproportionately. Books not so strongly, but visual media in particular can stir up emotions and effect reactions that are at times a bit debilitating. I'll be crabby for days while my subconscious processes a film. I find it difficult to watch broadcast television because I get whipsawed by the ads (which I hate - the boxed set has become my favorite method of tv series consumption and my salvation) and overly frustrated by the weekly wait between episodes. I cry at the cinema for no particular reason other than being drawn into the story.
Not sure where I'm going with this, other than the promised life-over-examined. Just my current thoughts, as I am avoiding Nanowrimo proper. (I don't have trouble with word count, I have trouble making the words all hang together and pretend to be a novel.)
November 2nd, 2013
|10:47 pm - National Theatre: Frankenstein|
One of my less-succinctly quantified criteria for good art is that it hangs around in the back of my head and pokes me every so often. The world stays with me. The ideas and images arise unbidden from the side-streams of my thought processes. A piece of my soul remains resident there; a piece of the art takes up residence in me.
Halloween night I celebrated by seeing both versions of Frankenstein by Nick Dear, as directed by Danny Boyle. Jonny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch each play the roles of both Victor Frankenstein and the Creature, and I am really glad I had the opportunity to see both versions back-to-back, as they have informed each other and played off each other in my thoughts and perceptions.
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein is a story that has always resonated with me, but this particular play/production seems to have seriously hit the proper notes to take up semi-permanent residence in my bifurcated soul. The musical soundtrack, by Underworld, is a huge part of that as well, evocative, appropriate and haunting.
So I enjoyed it a great deal, but the more I think about it as time passes the rawer and more ravished I feel, and the less inclined I am to share my thoughts and feelings about it. I'm crabby because I hate feeling this vulnerable. I'm also feeling a little apologetic because I meant to post a proper, in-depth review and I find myself balking. Maybe in a while. Maybe.
In any case, there is still a showing of the reverse-casting (Miller as Creature, Cumberbatch as Frankenstein) on Sunday the 3rd at 9pm at SIFF Uptown. According to the National Theatre Live site there will be some showings again in January - for non-local folks that site also lists all the places holding screenings, you can search for your locality.
October 31st, 2013
|01:55 pm - esse|
that fire just underneath
masked by holding still
so few see the spark
discipline holds strong
passion is guarded
gathered as the storm
one among many
seer enough to see
the coiled waiting
would ground the lightning.
October 29th, 2013
|06:51 pm - putting money where my mouth is|
I've been meaning to post about my dental adventures for over a week now. Given that I haven't, there is clearly some angst involved so I will, as they say, sum up. The good news is they have been, on the whole, positive. The bad news is (unsurprisingly) they will be expensive, even at the reduced rate I will be getting for seeing a student at the UW School of Dentistry. Around $4K - but that is nine major instances of work, including two molars that need to be rebuilt before they can even have a crown applied, and the restoration of one broken veneer.
I guess the lesson is that I don't do things by half measures, even if it's letting things go to pieces.
For me the most entertaining bit is I was joking that I needed so much done they would simply assign me to a student: and your thesis project will be played by Joy's mouth. In reality, that is simply how things work - you go in for your assessment and are then assigned to a student, who then proceeds to work out with you and then do whatever needs to be done. They handle your cleanings as well. It makes more sense when I think about it, since it gives better training in terms of what you would do in the field in your practice, but I somehow assumed the training would be more compartmentalized. (Meaning you would be assigned to a student doing a particular type of work depending on what you needed done for that work only.) I like this way better.
I also really like the student I have been assigned. She is thorough and competent and caring and seems to be on top of things. She doesn't set off my personal space issues, which is kind of critical when someone is going to be spending hours with their hands in my mouth.
October 21st, 2013
|06:16 am - The wild kingdom in my bath|
Day before yesterday I was menaced after my shower by a giant spider. I screamed, ran, came back, stared at it balefully, went and collected a water glass, trapped it (barely) and hyperventilated. Then got some cardstock and took it outside.
It was too big for me to kill; I don't normally like to kill spiders anyway but the fear thing is atavistic and gets to me. This one was big enough that I was afraid to maim it, and more afraid of the noise I thought killing it would make.
Yes, we took pictures to document. I will put a cut because it is a photo that would startle me unpleasantly. I still don't enjoy looking at it. YMMV.
( large spider behind cut...Collapse )
The text on the paper under the glass is 14 point or so, for comparison.
It was big enough I was pretty proud of myself afterward. I have a strong intellectual appreciation for spiders, but really prefer them to stay outside.
October 9th, 2013
|09:42 am - I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.|
Last Thursday I had a very decent birthday, doing things I like to do.
I went to see a movie. I rode the Monorail. I drank coffee. I wandered thru the Pacific Science Center. I wrote in my journal.
It's a measure of my introversion more than anything that I forgot to ask anyone to come along with me, but there you go. I am almost disastrously self-contained at times.
I am also 47. That's one of those numbers that looks either tiny or huge, depending on the angle of viewing. Four decades and most of a fifth. At least at the moment I feel like I have my head above water. I have come to peace with being a late bloomer playing the long game, and while that doesn't do too much to restore my fund of patience it does at least ameliorate some of the angst. I've tried a lot of things and decided "nope," but there's lots more left on the list. I don't think I'll run out any time soon.
September 28th, 2013
|06:03 am - haring off into bad design land, again|
I had been planning to jump to the iPhone when I get a new phone this fall, but after being forced to pastelize my iPad with the "update" of iOS7 and the ensuing loathing, unless there are some major interface changes ASAP it isn't going to happen. Or maybe I'll go with the old 4 or 4S, something that they will allow to run the prior operating system. I find the new version ugly and unpleasant to use, but the most annoying bit is they won't let you go back to iOS6. Why repeatedly harass me about backing the system up before upgrading if I can't undo the upgrade?
The one thing is I am not alone, so maybe there will be enough pressure to change things. Guys, when they talk about killer app, I don't think this is what they mean.
September 24th, 2013
|11:23 am - Earthship Workshop|
Over the weekend I attended a workshop on Earthship Biotecture with Michael Reynolds, the founder/inventor/guru of same. He's pretty amazing, and a definite character. I admire him even as I occasionally find him frustrating. His response to the idea of human-excreted medications in the recirculating blackwater systems was a bit glib: don't take meds. Well, that idea works fine on a personal level, maybe. Until you are trying to make, say, hospitals out of the Earthship design... and then you are going to have to find some way to deal with it. (It was personally alienating, as well, because if I didn't take meds, I'd be dead.)
On the whole though I am glad I went. I learned a lot of ancillary information and context from listening to Mr. Reynolds talk. The great thing about the designs is they are truly the product of evolution - of him and the community building ideas into their homes in Taos (or other places around the globe), living in them, and then dealing with the consequences and reworking the designs again. Also materials have been getting cheaper in some cases, and much more efficient - especially the solar panel tech.
The exciting news though is that after following the concepts for the last ten years or so, it seems to me that things are finally starting to gel really well in terms of simplification, and have reached the point where people can take the knowledge and run with it in the field. Working in impoverished areas has allowed them to refine and distill the designs down to some real basics. It has reached the point where I think over the next ten years the ideas will really start to spread, especially in other parts of the world from the US.
Locally I didn't really connect with the Seattle group, sadly. Things were a little disorganized, and a little more chaotic than I have the energy to deal with at the moment. I wish them the best, though, and am happy to know there is a thriving group that is interested in the ideas and trying to incorporate them, getting involved in the city politics and planning processes.
I came home with a ton of notes and scribbled drawings - fortunately I don't have to replicate them for you as the information is all on the earthship.com website. Books on the various designs are either available now (for the Global model) or coming soon (for the Simple Survival model) as well.
September 17th, 2013
|06:59 am - oh do not ask what is it|
My mood is improved, my conjectures confirmed.
Some days I go around and around about levels of sharing. What is TMI, what may or may not be damaging should someone ego-surf my name or information. I usually end up figuring that I can only be who I am, and when I say "over-examined" about my life, I've never been kidding. Odds of someone looking me up and then thinking 'nope, can't hire her, can't pay her for making or writing or editing' are minuscule at this point; odds of someone looking me up and deciding I am not relationable (yes, I made that word up) would require the pool of my-possible-partners in this universe to be both much larger and more net-savvy than it apparently is. (::waves:: though, just in case one of y'all has managed to wander thru.) Also, more judgmental. A set of less than 1 is going to have trouble manifesting fingers to operate a keyboard, yes?
I shed words; they collect in the corners like dust. No blank surface is safe. All these empty pixels? Oh, rapture unending as the endless whispering chatter of my brain pours out and pools in the uneven flooring of the basement. Sometimes the bridges catch fire. The trees are burning in the forest, falling without sound, or with their sound subsumed in absence. Hiss crackle roar.
I've never burned down anything I wasn't supposed to.
Current Mood: somewhat improved