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June 30th, 2009
08:45 pm
A reasonably accomplished day today. Got a fair bit of work done on my bedroom - all the walls have art now, not just one (and I replaced the painting that went to Mom's in the living room with one of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) surlyben's pieces). Mailed some letters, visited the Crossroads mall Farmer's Market, stopped to play with the cats waiting for adoption at PetCo. Took care of some online stuff. Tired now...
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June 25th, 2009
04:36 pm
Actually a little teary about Michael Jackson passing on. Strange as he may have been in his personal life, he had charisma and musical talent of an unusual and haunting kind. faintheart and I were discussing the song Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell, aka Kennedy Gordy. Jackson sings backing vocals, and it's his addition that makes the song a hit. The only other piece by Rockwell that came close to doing well peaked at #35 on the Billboard 100 (Somebody's Watching Me made #2 in the US and #6 in the UK). The rest of the work wasn't bad, simply unmemorable, and pretty much faded away.
There was a timbre to Jackson's voice, though, that allowed him to inject that perfect siren edge of paranoia into the song, to add the hook that kept it playing in your head. I can't say I was a fan, but I willingly confess my respect for his talent and skill as a performer and musician. Whether he's simply done with life or has moved on, I wish him peace.
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June 22nd, 2009
02:29 pm
you and your proprietary friends
have already stolen
what little could be called a life
out of this list of days
how would I even notice
if you took my words?
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June 21st, 2009
02:02 pm
The forbearance came thru, my next student loan payment isn't due until next May now. Which takes a little pressure off, since part of the problem was being caused by the automatic payments going thru at weird times and bouncing while I was off in treatment, which then caused fees to accrue and more problems to occur. Granted I don't plan on being cut off from access to my bank account for a month again anytime soon, but who does?
My arm is better, although I may still call the clinic tomorrow to let them know I had a reaction to the vaccine. I've got most of my range of movement back, much reduced stiffness/pain but there is now an itchy red welt at the injection site.
The suckiest thing has been not being able to work out for the last few days. (Like that is a sentence I ever thought I would find myself writing!) I don't know if it is routine or endorphins or what, but I do find myself missing going over to the little gym and doing my 45 minutes on the treadmill. Which I wasn't going to do when walking down to get the mail made me feel like puking. I'm finally feeling less easily nauseated today.
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June 20th, 2009
12:03 pm - various
I had to laugh at the commercial for Group Health where the doctor makes some claim about secure online health records obviating some plot development he was consulting on. I was just in for my physical - in the Swedish system, which I trust a good deal more than GH, and they've managed to do fairly well in their computerization of my health records, but. Meaning that out of the fifteen years of records they had to scan in for my files I only noticed five or six major omissions...
Speaking of which, I had my tetanus booster shot, and I guess I just need to plan for reacting to immunizations when I get them. The fever has broken, but my arm is still stiff, though not as bad as it was yesterday. Nausea last night snuck up on me when I tried to leave the house, and I was pretty much useless for the whole day. I remember my arm being sore in 1998 when I had my last booster, but nothing as severe as this. I got a clean bill of health - barring something funky coming back in the bloodwork, which is a possibility of course.
I have requested a forbearance on my student loans, that will help the financial crunch a little.
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June 8th, 2009
10:43 am
Yesterday, faintheart and I are at Costco, and we pass one of the people giving out samples. He's probably in his 20s, quite tall, sort of Asian-looking to me - which I only mention because as I pick up the sample of almonds he's just offered me, he asks "Are you Irish?" I kind of look at him questioningly as I answer "No," so he continues "Where are you from?" "Here," I say, which from his look doesn't satisfy his curiosity, so I add "Bremerton, Seattle." He shakes his head a bit, but the lull in traffic is over and more sample-seekers have arrived, so he sends us on with a "Never mind," and we are left to puzzle over what all that was about.
faintheart thinks he asked "Are you Amish?" which to me is an even stranger question, because although granted, I wasn't wearing any zippers - or even buttons - at the time, and my companion was sporting his trademark suspenders and hat, he's got the wrong kind of hat, and the wrong kind of beard. My hair right now is quite short and was entirely un-hatted, and while fairly covering, yes, there is no way you could mistake the hibiscus-pattern tunic I was wearing over a longsleeve tshirt and leggings for the modest long dresses in solid colors Amish women wear... I believe both patterns and any garments that show the leg, covered or not, are eschewed.
On the other hand, while Ted's beard is redish, and we both are fair-skinned, I don't think either of us look particularly Irish. We have some Irish heritage, but as much Welsh and English and a bit more Scottish plus some German/Scandinavian/Prussian - it's really just easier to say Northern European mongrel because it's all from back when the borders were different and the countries were different and most of the records were about other people's families anyway, etc. and so forth.
So the upshot was that neither of us could come up with a good reason for either variation, and we were left (and left) in puzzlement.
More social primate wierdness for your amusement, and mine...
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May 29th, 2009
04:25 pm - random
Met my new therapist, had a good day for the most part but am still tired and even a little depressed. Wonder if the mail is here yet; wonder if there is anything in it besides bills?
We got a flyer that tomorrow is some sort of eastside recycling day, so we are going to take advantage of that and clear out a few things that have been piling up; that will undoubtedly help my mood.
I may need to find a truck (or at least a driver) and make a road trip to LA to pick up some belongings. (That's Los Angeles, CA not Louisiana.)
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May 23rd, 2009
05:42 am
Yesterday was one of those days that leave me feeling deeply ambivalent. I got lots accomplished, but don't have much to show for it, yet. My emotions don't necessarially seem congruent with the situation, which adds to my frustration and discomfort - even success seemed to chafe, somehow. Today is another day, thankfully.
I talked to all sorts of people on the phone, for example - and hell, maybe that's part of it, since I'm rarely comfortable doing that even when it goes well - and I've now got all my post-treatment therapy and medical appointments lined up. I called a friend from Michael's House I've been trying to get in touch with and finally connected, with mixed results; I called someone from my phone list and left a message on their machine.
One of the more disturbing calls was with my mother, who wants to undertake an expedition via transit that I think is pretty clearly physically beyond her, and I wasn't able to convey my concerns successfully. That one is a train-wreck that I'm really uncertain about how it's going to proceed, yuck.
I also had a disheartening book-selling experience, where I took a bunch of first edition hardcovers in and didn't get much in the way of recompense, but needed what they could give me enough that I couldn't refuse the deal. So my babies went on the chopping block unappreciated and for cheap... AND I still had to borrow money to get the prescription filled that I needed.
On the plus side I got a letter written and mailed, read Jim Butcher's latest Dresden novel Turn Coat and enjoyed it a great deal even though I did peg the criminal mastermind from the moment they walked onstage, went to a good step-study meeting and came home with a new friend and a copy of the sixth edition of the NA Basic Text which someone else paid for on my behalf.
Today looks to be some domestic errands, and maybe a late showing of the Star Trek movie or something from SIFF. Now I go make coffee, which will brighten my mood for certain.
Current Location: unemerged
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/uncomfortable.gif) uncomfortable
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May 22nd, 2009
07:12 am - for grouchychris
For the quote of the day, today iGoogle served me:
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.
- Bertrand Russell
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May 21st, 2009
09:11 am
Preparing to climb on the bus and head southish to an NA meeting in Factoria. I have some errands to run on the way, and it looks pretty nice out.
The really nice thing about treatment is never having to worry about transportation, bus fare, and such.
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May 18th, 2009
08:52 pm - a cat-shaped hole in my heart
I returned from treatment to find Xiombarg's vision had deteriorated badly, along with her hearing. Sadly, she was not coping with the changes well, and it was heart-wrenching to watch her confusion and consternation at her inability to navigate, or rather at the world's refusal to stay where it belonged.
Today she jumped off the left side of my mattress instead of the right and got horribly lost. I moved her food into the room by the bed and we spent the day hanging out and napping; she was happy and calm as long as I was touching her. I took her in for a quality of life assessment in the late afternoon, and as a result decided to euthanize her...
Maybe I'm evil, but watching her run into things today, and seeing how miserable she was, and listening to her cry just about broke my heart; letting her go hurts like hell but at least I know she's not in mental or physical pain.
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April 15th, 2009
10:29 am
Belated happy birthday to sharkins, early happy birthdays to beetimevine and surlyben... and apologies to anyone I have forgotten.
Current Location: Peets in Fremont
Current Music: coffee shop chatter
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April 9th, 2009
04:14 pm
Wow, Norwescon snuck up on me... even though I knew all about it, and get/got regular updates from Shawn! May try to show up this evening, but if I do it will be late.
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April 6th, 2009
12:11 pm - WTF
Taking with a older friend of my mother's about the place she's moving into - "is it run by foreigners?" she asks me, as a diagnostic. "Um," I say hesitatingly, "I don't know what you mean by foreigner, I don't think so". "So the woman who runs it is Caucasian?" she persists. I start to repeat that I don't know, then she adds "her eyes don't slant do they?" at which point I just say "Her name is --, I think she may be Romanian..." and blessedly the conversation moves on.
Never mind the fact that someone from Romania is likely from closer to the Caucasus (and actually being Caucasian) than my conversation partner. I'm still boggling at the casual prejudice.
I always hope my little acts of guerrilla language usage - I knew what she meant by 'foreigner', I just wanted HER to think about what she meant by 'foreigner' - aren't as useless and pedantic as they seem.
Damn tribal social primates.
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February 11th, 2009
06:06 am
Supposedly I'm automatically importing posts to Facebook now, so this is sort of a test.
That's sort of boring by way of news, so a quick update is in order.
Daniel and I are working our way thru my mother's storage locker, making really good progress. We will have the two lockers consolidated by the end of February. Then we need to go over the list of items with my mother before we throw it all in a U-haul and drive it to North Carolina for her. Once we are on the east coast, the plan is to fly out to France since airfare is cheaper from there than Seattle. That should be early April, more or less.
As we have been bringing furniture and things over to the apartment the place is beginning to look less like a hotel room and more like a home. I'm actually getting a chance to organize stuff that has been hanging fire for years, which feels really good.
I'm happier than I've been in years in spite of all the crazy-making stress.
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January 29th, 2009
11:39 am - Happy Birthday paulcarp!!
Plus a quick update.... in the form of an alphabetical set of answers!
A is for age - incremented by Paul
B is for boxes, we're filling them all
C is for cat, who it seems has gone deaf
D is for Daniel now sharing my bed
E is for everything strewn on the floor
F is the fear it won't fit out the door
G is the greatness of year '66
H is for homing or location-fix
I is for irksome, which moving just is
J is for Joy, organization whiz
K is for keeping my sanity, just
L is for (follow the rhyme, if you must)
M is for Mother, the core of the storm
N is for North Carolina, her home
O is for over - pray this will be, soon
P is for packing (yes, you know this tune)
Q is for quit, which I am not allowed
R is for Raleigh, and Ralphs in a crowd
S is for settled, the ultimate goal
T is for Theodore: heart solid gold
U is unsettled, and not just in place
V is for variable notions of space
W waits, though my patience is thin
X is the ballot I've got to send in
Y is for yowling, the cat's latest fun
Z is for Zen, which I've had to become.
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November 15th, 2008
12:53 pm
I am lucky today, I am not in the part of LA that is on fire.
Ted/Paul, if you happen to talk to mom would you let her know? I haven't had a chance to call her.
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November 6th, 2008
11:57 am - rant rant rant
Like Dorothy to Oz, I have been caught up and dispatched by the whirlwind, to LA, although with (hopefully) fewer incidents of manslaughter.
Huh. My life, when it changes, seems to like doing so with a capital C. Not to mention I love this as another manifestation of the universe's bizarre and perverse sense of humor; I always said I'd never live in LA. Just like I said I'd never live in Seattle...
I don't have a permanent address quite yet, but I am no longer at Place of Grace in Lake Elsinore. So if you could hold any snail-mail items you might have been contemplating convincing the US Post Office to cart my way it would probably be better for all concerned. All my online haunts, however remain the same, as does my phone number if you have it.
In the other news of the moment, I am as hopeful as I've ever been in the last four years since I saw the election returns retaining the Torture King (aka GWB) for a second term. It remains to be seen how deep the damage and sabotage runs, and the current crew has enough time before they leave to plant some serious booby-traps and landmines. It also remains for Obama to follow through, and for those of us who elected him to follow through as well.
Sadly, Utah managed to buy the Prop 8 vote here in California, so us dangerous queer-folk won't be causing more wholesale havoc or destruction by daring to marry each other in pairs that don't include only one man and one woman. Which is pretty entertaining if you happen to know that the LDS Church, one of if not the major backer of the legislation, teaches that marriages in their perfected form, in the afterlife (aka Heaven), are plural - which is to say one man, 1+n women. Or wait, has that gotten conveniently revised a la the oh-so-timely revelation that Black men could hold the highest priesthood authority after all in 1978, when it became clear that ideas of racial equality were entrenched enough in the culture that they faced some serious backlash if they continued to disbar them for being the Children of Cain and so hereditary murderers. Talk about holding on to a resentment!
It's also funny because I am guessing that their campaign brought about the very horror it was promoted to prevent - educating children about gay marriage. You couldn't turn sideways without tripping over a pro-8 ad in the week prior to the election, all of them whinging about the schools teaching children about gay marriage if their bigotry wasn't enacted into law. (Yup, I am biased toward my right to marry who I want regardless of plumbing or chromosomal accident, go figure.) Me, as a child, seeing those ads would have immediately sparked my curiosity about what the hell the problem was with this so-called gay marriage.
I still haven't been able to get anyone to sit down and explain to me in words of one syllable EXACTLY what harm is being caused to hetero marriages by same-sex couples getting married instead of domestically partnered. I've gotten pettifoggery and doomsaying nonsense about the destruction of Traditional Marriage, with hand-waving and angstful expressions, but nothing concrete.
Besides, these people don't want to save Traditional Marriage anymore than I want to save the Traditional right of parents to have their daughter's clitoris cut out with a rusty knife in the name of keeping them chaste. Or am I confused and they really are working to return women who marry to the legal status of the man's personal property, stripped of franchise, freedom of movement, and the right to determine her own destiny. Traditional Marriage, if you've looked at it historically at all, is a civil contract ensuring property stays in the family and validating the legitimate heirs of same. (Am I remembering properly, celyn100?) Time was you couldn't even get married at church! Then they relented and started to let people use the porch; and then like the camel's nose worked their way inside and are now claiming not just to have been there all along but to have invented the institution! Ah well.
Finally I've decided I must class political beliefs with religious beliefs in terms of personal serenity. Some ideas in both categories go so far beyond defying logic that it seriously bothers me, and the only answer to that is just file it under 'People believe/espouse some weird stuff," or I'll burn out what's left of my brain trying to find some arcane angle from which the whole thing makes sense. Can't be done, so into the box it goes, along with Step 2 from the South Park underwear gnomes.
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October 14th, 2008
05:44 am - Three things to make me dance with glee!
- Paul Krugman wins Nobel Prize!
- I find a huge box of Lion Brand yarn at Big Lots! for $1.50 a skein! Score!! Now to find if I really do have that crochet needle with me in my stuff somewhere, or if I need to rustle one up.
- Finally, Katherine Neville is releasing a sequel to The Eight called The Fire. Neville writes brilliantly the sort of novel Dan Brown claimed to have written in The Da Vinci Code - and I hate that constant comparison, because it gives Brown far too much undeserved press/name dropping, but it is what it is - intrigue, mysticism, powerful arcane artifacts, secret cabals, wheels within wheels within wheels. If you are fond of that sort of thing give yourself a treat and check her work out.
[updated to add]
P.S. She will be at Powell's Beaverton on October 23rd & Third Place Books in Seattle on November 12th. She will be a half a dozen places in CA none of which I have any idea if they are even remotely near where I am as well, but these things can and will be ascertained.
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October 8th, 2008
02:30 am
I'm going to blame homesickness for my suddenly bursting into tears over Fup. Store Cat. in the Powell's Bookstore newsletter just now.
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