December 14th, 2014
|08:18 am - moving pictures, large and small|
So I do a volunteer gig ushering for the Seattle International Film Festival's Uptown theater once a week, and as a result I have been getting a slightly broader exposure to films and series coming out than just my usual trailers-before-the-films-I-actually-see-in-a-theater and random internet ad-dodging. Some items of interest I thought I would mention:
One of the films we have currently is The Babadook, a horror piece with Essie Davis. I didn't recognize her from the latter two Matrix films, but my co-usher mentioned a Australian tv series she stars in called Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries which she recommended as utterly delightful. Davis plays Miss Phryne Fisher (pronounced FRY-knee, I discovered, rather than any of the more creative mispronunciations I had come up with before-hand). I got the first season on DVD from the library, and the 1st & 2nd seasons are on Netflix streaming at the moment, and they are wonderful. I've seen a couple of the folks I follow here on LJ mention them in passing, so I wanted to chime in and add my accolades to the mix. Gorgeous costumes, sharp wit, and social commentary that is on-point and informs the action without seeming forced. It's a period drama set in 1928 Melbourne, Australia and the first season manages to address gender expectations, (homo & hetero)sexuality, women's rights, worker's rights, racism, classism, and the fetishization of ancient history while treating the actual cultural successors of said historical 'golden ages' like crap. But you can also just watch it as a well-crafted set of murder mysteries, if you're not feeling inclined to exegesis at the moment.
The other item my interest is currently piqued by is a film SIFF Uptown will be getting in late January called A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night. The tagline claims it as the First Iranian Vampire Western, and the trailer is a beautiful noir-looking piece of black-and-white cinematography that I find really enticing. I can think of a myriad of places and ways the story could go based on what I've seen, and they are all interesting.
Then of course there are The Imitation Game, the new Hobbit, the Pingwings of Madagascar, and Jupiter Ascending as well, but they've all got their own PR machines a-rolling already. We screened a preview of Inherent Vice last night during my shift as well, and that one is going to be one that despite it being crammed full of actors I enjoy I will probably give a miss. I think it's harder to be nostalgic for the 1970s if you were actually alive during them; I was fairly young but old enough to remember a fair bit of discomfort and cognitive dissonance. But you know, we tell ourselves the stories we want to hear.
December 1st, 2014
|04:55 am - December will be magic again|
Time to check in again. Some major depressive episodes last month, but I am coping and I think I am improving. Medication twiddling is underway. Some of it was circumstantial triggers, but it just wouldn't go away.
In tales of the brain fog: we are screening the Broadway production of Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men at the SIFF film center, and I went to see it before my usher shift last weekend. When I told people I was planning to see it, I kept getting the strangest looks; "You do know the story?" said one good friend I told. Well, yes - I read the book in school, after all. Except that I was mentally confusing Grapes of Wrath with Of Mice and Men. Oops. Still, I managed to enjoy the movie even though I spent the whole 150 minutes weeping. One of the interesting things to me about the story is while my mom's half-brothers were never itinerant, they were ranch hands. So I have some slight connection to that culture.
I am enjoying the lights people are putting up, and seeing decorated trees in people's windows.
November 1st, 2014
|06:12 am - and now, November|
Another month has snuck past without us getting much closer to being moved, alas.
There is a fine line between apathy and not-worrying that I don't always navigate well. One of the lines in a mediation tape I use says something on the order of "let go of the tendency we all have to wish things would be different, and allow things to be exactly as you find them." Which is good advice in terms of not worrying needlessly, but can also influence me to simply give up on things I find frustrating. There are many things in my life I wish were different but it is sometimes hard to tell which of them I have much influence over. That's the tricky part of chronic depression, it can make everything seem like something that needs to simply be accepted and dealt with rather than worked to make better/different/changed.
In other news I'm disinclined to NaNoWriMo this year, which probably means I should do it anyway - see above. I already know I can put that many words down on paper in a month; struggling with making them cohesive and novel-shaped is ongoing.
On the other other hand, look at me all checking in before months and months have passed again!
October 30th, 2014
|05:30 am - stuff, it changes|
I use Amazon Fresh to bring me groceries on occasion, because I don't drive and they will lift the heavy things like 30lbs of cat litter and cases of cat food, gallons of various liquids and so forth. That way I don't have to wrestle them on the bus, where even my bags of lighter dry goods can occasion difficulties with the space they occupy. It's problematic, I know, but it is the best solution at the moment.
Their website used to have a way of searching for items without High Fructose Corn Syrup from within their offered products. That seems to have been removed as a search option though, as of the last time I placed an order. Irritating. I can only hope it is because the majority of products are now HFCS-free.
I hope, and I read labels.
August 3rd, 2014
|09:03 am - random thoughts & outliers|
Doing GISHWHES again this year, and the big event meet-up is here in Seattle. I'm nervous but looking forward to participating.
I was thinking last night while ushering at the Uptown that we are social primates, watching the crowd behavior. IDGHP can miss the sign on the door that says "push here" - because that door's hinges are not on the 'expected' side, so everyone always tries pushing on the side with the hinges. Although I have to admit that I do it too, and I not only read the sign, but I read it over and over while standing there watching people use (or fail to use) the door. So when I say I don't get how people fail to heed the sign, I'm including myself in "people" at least.
I don't get how people do a lot of stuff. Most of it is probably a perspective thing like the door. IDGHP keep their hair out of their faces, or from falling out of the hair clips - but that's probably more a problem with the fineness of my hair than anything. IDGHP drink coffee that is so hot it burns; half of why I put cream in my coffee is to cool it to a temperature where I don't feel like I'm scalding my mouth. IDGHP eat as much siracha as they do, or those hot peppers that make you break into an instant sweat. Perhaps I simply have delicate mucous membranes. And IDGHP do things like eat hot peppers and review video games - a la Hot Pepper Gaming either.
Alright, enough boggling. Time to go put a bowl of fruit on a hat. IDGHP lived before glue guns.
June 4th, 2014
|07:52 pm - May I what?|
I have no idea where May went. That's okay, I'm sure it's around here somewhere, will probably turn up again in a year or so.
Sadly that's about all I've got for public consumption. I'm even more self-contained than usual at the moment, in some ways. Although I am auditioning new therapists, as my current one is leaving town. I am sanguine, and on schedule.
All the rest of my thinky thoughts are better left free-range for the moment.
April 29th, 2014
|08:24 am - (easily amused, they call me)|
The Horse In Motion as shown by instantaneous photography, with a study on animal mechanics founded on anatomy and the revelations of the camera, in which is demonstrated the theory of quadrupedal locomotion, that book with the famous Edward Muybridge photographs? The name of the author of the text is J.D.B. Stillman.
STILLMAN. You can't make this stuff up.
April 26th, 2014
|10:45 am - waiting for the drop|
I'm trying to ditch a headache and waiting for various meds to kick in, and I might as well post while I'm doing it, eh? Share the little thoughts that chase around my head like leaves in the autumn wind flicker down side streets and then fetch up short. Gusty thoughts. Snippets of sundry. Random words and phrases, the occasional seed of a poem even, if I'm lucky. If there are leaves there must be trees, at least. Some deeper structure holding this all up? On the days breathing is too much work, all I can do is hope.
April 22nd, 2014
|08:13 am - because it's there|
To borrow a phrase from BBC Sherlock: Not Dead. And yeah, still dreaming, if you want to go down that path. Still figuring out how to get from Point A to Point B and points beyond. Am half-way caught up on my taxes. Am way behind on my poetry-writing goals.
April tends to loom large in my depression, and I've been thinking about the underlying reasons (with the aid of my pshrink). I've had a couple of useful insights. Most of it has to do with values, and self-evaluation, and my personal sense of timing where for some reason spring is when I think "something's got to give" and don't always make the best choices as a result. Flinging one's winter garment on the fire is great until there's a cold snap...
At this point I'm doing okay. I know the month isn't over yet, but I haven't gotten myself into any major scrapes and I think the fog may be starting to lift a bit.
Oh, apparently there is a J. Ralph on twitter - a musician - which I am finding vaguely discomfiting. I'm happy being cithra online, but it is just a little weird since this is the first I've encountered a public someone else with a version of my name. I get to find out what it's like to be a Mike or a Sarah finally, a bit. Or maybe this is some alternate life and why I wake up on occasion with strange bruises. ::shrug::
April 10th, 2014