|
|
|
February 9th, 2010
07:09 pm
And of course in other fail, finding a copy of the Posies first album Failure is probably utterly impossible these days as well. oh well. I liked it.
|
February 8th, 2010
05:48 pm - a few thoughts about music (part 2)
(this posts thru to facebook, so I am trying to break it into bits instead of using a cut tag)
I've come to the opinion that music is an inherently social art. I also think it is among the first, if not the first one humans developed/practiced - possibly even before we started breaking things up into phonemes and syllables and words. I've been out of the formal field of anthropology for years, so these thoughts aren't backed up by any citations, just observation and reasoning and that horror of horrors, personal anecdotal evidence, being somewhat acquainted with music myself.
First I need to say that it is obviously possible to enjoy music alone; let's not be specious for the sake of contention. I'm seriously interested in this, because I can't think of any other art forms where the experience is enhanced by being practiced socially. Lately I've seen artist jams, it's true, where a group gets together and draws, but that's usually a fund raiser; music is a group production normally, with solos being the rarity.
On the other hand, those examples are of performance, and most music is written by one person. Ok, and I imagine there are probably as many lyrics/music teams as there are collaboratively written types of literature. However, and (this is how I got here from part 1 and the digital piracy musings): there seems to be an immediate impulse or desire upon hearing a cool piece of music to want to share or be sharing it with someone. Even a stranger at a club or concert, but better if a friend. (Then there is the impulse to dance, but I wasn't thinking about that, and this is long already.)
The other and sort of winding down thought about music and groups is that people like to listen to music in groups much more than they like to do other things in groups. If we wanted to, we could all gather in a public venue and read novels together - but we don't. Usually if you are with a group of people in a museum, you are on a tour in a foreign country not because being in a group enhances your experience of the art of the museum. But the crowd energy makes the experience better for both the performers and the audience, and it is a group phenomena - I know from experience that an empty house is harder to connect with...
Current Music: Shadowtime - Siouxsie & the Banshees
|
05:23 pm - a few thoughts about music (part 1)
I was contemplating my phone, which has among its many talents impersonating a portable music device, and idly wondering how many regulations I would be violating if I went to the trouble of figuring out how to de-proprietize any bits of my music collection I might want to illegally copy, and what sort of non-system royalties I could theoretically provide to compensate the actual artists for their work. But how DO you track down the members of, say Pink Floyd these days to find out what kind of cupcakes they like?
In any case it occurred to me that in terms of human history AND the nature of music as a creative force/item/art, the "music industry" is a rather short-lived and unusual phenomena. It's been around in the hard core marketing industry sense since radio and recording media became common is my guess (idle speculation without research here) - and to be sloppily generous with my time-frame I'll stretch the definition all the way back to hand-copied manuscript commissions to favored musicians from kings and courts and such.
So the music industry as I see it is 40-70 years old if we are talking about folks squawking about digital piracy destroying music as we know it, which is of course nonsense. Even if it destroys the music industry as we know it, people will go on making and sharing music like they always have. Which leads me to my second batch of thoughts...
Current Music: Kiss Them For Me - Siouxsie & the Banshees
|
10:20 am - Not a personality quiz, for once
Here is a link to an entertaining math quiz about famous numbers I ran across. You have 6 minutes to identify 11 common numbers from math and science. I got 8/11 correct, although a couple of those were because as you type in the answer box if you type a correct answer, it takes it and fills it in, so I got one semi-freebie that I might not have remembered in time. But even 7.5 or 7/11 is pretty good for numerically dyslexic me! So the uber-mathematical may find it dismissively easy, but I got six minutes of fun out of it.
Current Music: wrr wrr wrr go the fans
|
February 5th, 2010
01:56 pm - grr
I am sure there are more frustrating things in the world, but right now I have a pdf file which purports to be fillable, and yet nothing I type into the appropriate places shows up. I've printed it out, and can fill it in by hand, certainly. But the lure of having a neatly typewritten copy, combined with the annoyance of "what am I doing wrong!?!" is just enough to make me want to keep coming back to poke at the problem. It's a document that has been revised at least 12 times over a number of years - and therefor who knows how many iterations of Reader and Acrobat, so I'm perfectly aware that it may well not BE anything I'm doing or even anything in my control. However. Still. Frustrating. I swear, the better I get at dealing with my depression, the more I find myself in OCD-land and places like unto.
Current Location: United States, Bellevue, NE 17th St, 15524
|
February 1st, 2010
08:27 am - why I quit Twitter
It gave me a feeling of false intimacy with people who neither knew nor cared who the hell I was. I started getting emotionally involved with the lives of strangers, and I have enough emotional issues in my own life to work on. It's cool for other people, but not for me, not now.
This is quite possibly the sort of problem that most people don't have, based on how popular Twitter is and continues to be - and actually that's fantastic. I've seen some really cool grassroots stuff happen due to Twitter linkages, spur-of-the-moment concerts or performance art 'happenings' (yeah, I'm stuck in the last century for terminology, so sue me) and I have nothing but praise to offer for that aspect of the phenomenon.
But for me, little old introvert, doesn't trust or make friends easily me, it was just too disconcerting to be suddenly privy to intimate tidbits of people's lives of the sort I'm only used to from people who want to hear my life-stuff back, without being able to make that reverse connection. Now the nature of the beast is that Twitter is a broadcast medium: you send out your tweet/message, and anyone who wishes, for the most part (unless you act to block them) can receive it. A dialog will only be allowed, however, if you take pains to initiate it or indicate that a particular user has the appropriate permissions. So what you can end up with especially with the famous is a conversation between people who know each other in front of a large audience - almost like a panel discussion - except it tends to be about the mundane (grape jelly, or marmalade?) as often if not moreso than the profound.
As I said, since I have an ego that presumes my answer to any question is at least as good as any other, if not on the better-than-most side. Neil Gaiman, for example, someone I admire, like and respect a great deal, was someone whose Twitter feed I received. And the opportunity to help someone as cool as I think Neil Gaiman is with even a trivial problem is something I would find really satisfying, something I could think about on the crappy days when nothing goes right and I'm wishing they would let you donate your organs early under a euthanasia program. So when in the course of human events Gaiman or someone like him tweets regarding some question or snafu or something that I have knowledge about or think I could help with, I want to offer that help.
Except it would be totally inappropriate, because he's not really talking to me. He doesn't know me, except as a random fan; I have no right to presume I know how to solve problems he has based on the scraps of information I've gleaned as a random fan because despite what it seems like, I don't really know him! Then for me to feel snubbed because of this lack of interaction? That's heading down the lane to psychosis ala the John Hinkley/Jodie Foster/Ronald Regan triangle and I'd really prefer not to go there.
I'll stick to getting text messages from robots or people I actually know, for now, I think.
Current Location: home
Current Music: the sound of silence
|
January 17th, 2010
01:05 am - hooray!!!
I get to be at the Rainforest Writers Village Retreat again this year - I really am sorry for the people who had to cancel for me to be able to attend, because I was on the wait list, so I have mixed emotions, but it is a great experience I am delighted and privileged to anticipate. Now I must secure transportation, and all will be well.
|
January 16th, 2010
10:38 pm - as if there were not enough reasons
If you can not think of any other reason to help: Every dollar you send to help the people of Haiti is giving Pat Robertson and his ilk the finger.
|
November 7th, 2009
07:54 pm
How do you know you are an adult? When all the things you recall fondly from childhood have become well and truly destroyed, disappeared, or altered beyond recognition. That taste, ashes. Those tears, your fare to Charon that keeps the Styx flowing - did you really think the poor would be denied their passage beyond for something so petty? Not so - greed belongs to us, the mortal sons of dirt. Even the cruelest of the great ones has more compassion that that.
When the trumpet's note rings sour; when the path to your favorite grove is overgrown, or worse, heavy with ox-rut; when the strangers you ask know neither the names of your former haunts nor those of your bosom companions, then you must accept your youth is dead.
Current Music: Latex Messiah (Viva la Rebel In You) - Toyah
|
September 11th, 2009
06:56 am
If only I could remember this:
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning September 10
Copyright 2009 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): My first demand is that you weed out the
wishy-washy wishes and lukewarm longings that keep you distracted from
your burning desires. My second demand is that you refuse to think that
anyone else knows better than you what dreams will keep your life energy
humming with maximum efficiency and beauty. Now please repeat the
following assertions about 20 times: "I know exactly what I want. I know
exactly what I don't want. I know exactly what I kind of want but I won't
waste my time on it any more because it sidetracks me from working on
what I really really want."
Current Music: the sound of silence
|
August 16th, 2009
11:28 am - off to California!
Pretty much packed and ready to go when ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sharkins gets here. So far I manage to be remarkably zen, and things seem to fall into place. Works for me.
|
July 19th, 2009
08:05 am - Twitpic project #otgt
There is a scene at the beginning of the movie Blade Runner, which while not my favorite is right up there:Holden: Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother.
Leon: My mother?
Holden: Yeah.
Leon: Let me tell you about my mother.
[Leon shoots Holden with a gun he had pulled out under the table]
Leon: Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch!
I've been wondering about Twitter and Twitpic as artistic media (mediums? whatever). As a poet I see potential in the short form of being limited to 140 characters, as a really amateur cell-phone photographer I'm interested in exploring "visual poetry" as well, if you'll allow me the flight of fancy.
I've got plenty of anger (like Leon) although that's not what I plan for this to be "about". I'm struggling with depression and alcoholism/addiction, although that's not what I plan for this to be "about" either. The hash tag is short for Only The Good Things - but I doubt I will limit myself to that purely either. Single words, yeah, I'm aiming in that general direction, but... well, you can guess where this is going.
I'm going to share this ...thing because that is what humans do with art, be it story, music, painting, body decoration, or whatever - that impulse to share it is pretty integral, I believe, as well as being pretty frightening. Like it or not, I'm human, so I better start practicing.
|
July 13th, 2009
05:45 am - epiphany by request
I can't give anyone their own epiphany, but I can try and share mine.
Briefly. I may say more later, but I'm still sort of in the middle of things at the moment.
So: I suffer from depression of a long-term and treatment-resistant variety. I collect DSM classifications like trading cards. It's a subtle and cyclic disease, and while on one hand I have learned a number of signs to keep watch for that I am suffering from (or going into) an episode, even at 42 and after numerous years of therapy I still don't always catch it until I'm well into one or something catastrophic happens.
I was chatting with Cam about a series of events recently that mirrored/triggered issues from my childhood, and how that had led into a depressive episode that I hadn't realized I was in - in part because I had grief from childhood resonating and almost overwhelming the grief I was feeling from current events. What I realized was that while as a child I had no help or protection with my hurts and grief, going through this another time as an adult gives me the chance to sort of re-parent myself. Now I can go through this sort of loss and grief with tools to deal with it, with the knowledge that I am a worthwhile person who is worthy of giving and receiving love, (and I am NOT a broken thing who needs to die to take her fat ugly self out of the world she doesn't belong in).
I guess the "cut to the chase" version would be that if I feel like I'm going thru the same shit over and over, it might be because I actually HAVE learned something, rather than repeating the same dumb mistakes because I haven't. Or at least maybe it's a chance to do something rather than a result of something dumb I've already done.
Current Location: home
Current Music: the sound of silence
|
July 8th, 2009
09:27 am
What have I been up to lately?
Working out - I am up to 50 minutes on the treadmill, which means time to get back on the scary elliptical machine again. It can kick my butt after 5 minutes, so there's a ways to go there for certain.
Household - lots of laundry, which I swear is never done. I can't imagine how anyone with an actual family copes. Still going thru stuff and sorting/trashing/filing. I flip between "I have too much stuff!!" and "ooh, that might be useful for [x]" with the frosting of sentiment on top. Having a visual memory means in part that whatever I pick up brings back its own complement of memories and associations, from a ticket stub to a sticky note to whatever. I did get the bed-frame put together with faintheart's help, so my mattress is off the floor.
Writing - I have been spending a lot of time writing, which is good. Longhand, but that's the way it works for me.
Hmm, the only problem with these updates is I always feel like I'm getting more done than I can recall when I sit down to type it out... ah well, there are small things too like writing letters and walking out to mail them, those take time as well. Noodling about online. Reading. Stuff...
|
June 30th, 2009
08:45 pm
A reasonably accomplished day today. Got a fair bit of work done on my bedroom - all the walls have art now, not just one (and I replaced the painting that went to Mom's in the living room with one of surlyben's pieces). Mailed some letters, visited the Crossroads mall Farmer's Market, stopped to play with the cats waiting for adoption at PetCo. Took care of some online stuff. Tired now...
|
June 25th, 2009
04:36 pm
Actually a little teary about Michael Jackson passing on. Strange as he may have been in his personal life, he had charisma and musical talent of an unusual and haunting kind. faintheart and I were discussing the song Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell, aka Kennedy Gordy. Jackson sings backing vocals, and it's his addition that makes the song a hit. The only other piece by Rockwell that came close to doing well peaked at #35 on the Billboard 100 (Somebody's Watching Me made #2 in the US and #6 in the UK). The rest of the work wasn't bad, simply unmemorable, and pretty much faded away.
There was a timbre to Jackson's voice, though, that allowed him to inject that perfect siren edge of paranoia into the song, to add the hook that kept it playing in your head. I can't say I was a fan, but I willingly confess my respect for his talent and skill as a performer and musician. Whether he's simply done with life or has moved on, I wish him peace.
|
June 22nd, 2009
02:29 pm
you and your proprietary friends
have already stolen
what little could be called a life
out of this list of days
how would I even notice
if you took my words?
|
June 21st, 2009
02:02 pm
The forbearance came thru, my next student loan payment isn't due until next May now. Which takes a little pressure off, since part of the problem was being caused by the automatic payments going thru at weird times and bouncing while I was off in treatment, which then caused fees to accrue and more problems to occur. Granted I don't plan on being cut off from access to my bank account for a month again anytime soon, but who does?
My arm is better, although I may still call the clinic tomorrow to let them know I had a reaction to the vaccine. I've got most of my range of movement back, much reduced stiffness/pain but there is now an itchy red welt at the injection site.
The suckiest thing has been not being able to work out for the last few days. (Like that is a sentence I ever thought I would find myself writing!) I don't know if it is routine or endorphins or what, but I do find myself missing going over to the little gym and doing my 45 minutes on the treadmill. Which I wasn't going to do when walking down to get the mail made me feel like puking. I'm finally feeling less easily nauseated today.
|
June 20th, 2009
12:03 pm - various
I had to laugh at the commercial for Group Health where the doctor makes some claim about secure online health records obviating some plot development he was consulting on. I was just in for my physical - in the Swedish system, which I trust a good deal more than GH, and they've managed to do fairly well in their computerization of my health records, but. Meaning that out of the fifteen years of records they had to scan in for my files I only noticed five or six major omissions...
Speaking of which, I had my tetanus booster shot, and I guess I just need to plan for reacting to immunizations when I get them. The fever has broken, but my arm is still stiff, though not as bad as it was yesterday. Nausea last night snuck up on me when I tried to leave the house, and I was pretty much useless for the whole day. I remember my arm being sore in 1998 when I had my last booster, but nothing as severe as this. I got a clean bill of health - barring something funky coming back in the bloodwork, which is a possibility of course.
I have requested a forbearance on my student loans, that will help the financial crunch a little.
|
June 8th, 2009
10:43 am
Yesterday, faintheart and I are at Costco, and we pass one of the people giving out samples. He's probably in his 20s, quite tall, sort of Asian-looking to me - which I only mention because as I pick up the sample of almonds he's just offered me, he asks "Are you Irish?" I kind of look at him questioningly as I answer "No," so he continues "Where are you from?" "Here," I say, which from his look doesn't satisfy his curiosity, so I add "Bremerton, Seattle." He shakes his head a bit, but the lull in traffic is over and more sample-seekers have arrived, so he sends us on with a "Never mind," and we are left to puzzle over what all that was about.
faintheart thinks he asked "Are you Amish?" which to me is an even stranger question, because although granted, I wasn't wearing any zippers - or even buttons - at the time, and my companion was sporting his trademark suspenders and hat, he's got the wrong kind of hat, and the wrong kind of beard. My hair right now is quite short and was entirely un-hatted, and while fairly covering, yes, there is no way you could mistake the hibiscus-pattern tunic I was wearing over a longsleeve tshirt and leggings for the modest long dresses in solid colors Amish women wear... I believe both patterns and any garments that show the leg, covered or not, are eschewed.
On the other hand, while Ted's beard is redish, and we both are fair-skinned, I don't think either of us look particularly Irish. We have some Irish heritage, but as much Welsh and English and a bit more Scottish plus some German/Scandinavian/Prussian - it's really just easier to say Northern European mongrel because it's all from back when the borders were different and the countries were different and most of the records were about other people's families anyway, etc. and so forth.
So the upshot was that neither of us could come up with a good reason for either variation, and we were left (and left) in puzzlement.
More social primate wierdness for your amusement, and mine...
|
|
|
